Bleeding Red, White, and Blue (Well, Mostly Red...)

Alright, people. Prepare for the insufferable. From this point forward, most of these blog posts will talk of nothing but China. Whether it's anticipation of the trip, an account of my nonstop 16.5 hour flight from NYC to South Korea, or my adventures with the Chinese Nuggets, my blogs will inevitably take on a certain...slant... I mean, I could talk about China, or I could give you a scene-for-scene recount of the Seinfeld episodes I watch on any given day. That's about all that's going on in my life until our Buffalo Wild Wings opens. For those of you that have had enough already, I highly recommend Stumble Upon as an alternative way to waste your time. Self-depricating ramblings aside, I have less than 2 weeks before I arrive in the People's Republic of China. I suggest the Republic prepare itself accordingly. As my departure date creeps closer, I get asked more and more-what will I miss most about being home? My family, my friends. The answer seems a little obvious to me. Of course, there are also quite a few non-human aspects of American life I will miss. My car? French fries? Drinking water that isn't full or carcinogens and poison? Sure. But there is something much more important to me. My rights. For the past few days, I've been doing a little research about what my life will be like in China. Will I be living in a dirt floor hut, washing my face with handfuls of river water? No. Apparently, Asia has taken a turn from rice paddies and funny triangle shaped hats. Now, I hear tales of smog filled skies and billions of industrious, well-mannered people whose heads I see over for miles in the bicycle clogged streets. I've sought advice from my parents, international businessmen, and even a close friend who visited China before. And of course, I get tons of unsolicited but helpful advice from pretty much everyone else. People have brought various aspects of my personality to my attention in an attempt to keep me from being thrown in Chinese jail. "Derek," they say, "you can't be sarcastic over there. No making fun of people. No satire. Don't wear your 'Communist Party' t-shirt. Don't complain. Actually, we would really just advise you to not say anything to anyone, for any reason, ever." As it turns out, I seem to be a pretty incendiary figure. And then it hit me. A huge part of my life, and my personality, is the ability to communicate freely using my First Amendment rights. I have Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, Skype, an average of about 7,500 texts a month, and I still talk to people face to face. I even talk in my sleep; just ask my former roommate. So what's a blabbermouth windbag like me to do in a country where even Google is illegal? Some people have tried to give me the impression that if I utter the word "America," I will be taken to windowless room and shot in the face at point blank range. Other people tell me that I don't have to change my habits at all, just skirt the Great Firewall like all the rest of the ex-pats. Honestly, I can't say I subscribe to either philosophy. But I do know that I will miss being in a land where I can say literally anything that I want. Because I do just that. For example, I think Sarah Palin is a complete idiot. All of the stupid ideas that come from her dumb Alaskan mouth make my liberal soul quiver with disgust. And I'm well within my rights to say all that and much, much more if I felt the need. That's why I love America. The constant free exchange of ideas we often take for granted force progression and change. And sometimes, they do nothing at all. We can be smart or stupid with our rights. The important thing is that we use them. As an American, I have access to an astounding amount of information. I can access my FBI file. I can write letters to my Congressperson. I can attend city hall meetings. And I can also watch YouTube videos about a fat girl that can't sing, or pandas sneezing. I can hold up signs and shout whatever I want. I can chain myself to old trees. Every time I go to DC, I see the tent with the crazy nuclear protester, right behind the White House. You've seen it. It's been there forever. And I can't help but smile. I honestly can't think of a single thing I care about so much that I would live in a tent until I got my way, but I have that right. With all this awesome free expression comes equality of opportunity. My favorite example of this is Basil Marceaux, candidate for Governor of the State of Tennessee. Find him on YouTube, and you will be reminded that literally anyone can run for political office. (Don't worry; he didn't win. We aren't THAT stupid..) Yes, I may be a nerd. My love for America and her idiosyncrasies may be a little beyond the comprehension of sane people. Despite decades of mind boggling stupidity from BOTH sides of the party line, I still have faith in the government. But more than that, I have faith in the ingenuity and spirit of the American people. (the National Anthem should begin to play in your head at this point) We built a nation based on ideas that had never been tried. We made it through Depressions, Great and small. We've watched 44 (almost 45!!) Superbowls together. Some people think America is on the decline. I say no way. We aren't going anywhere. We'd make too much of a fuss about being #2 to anyone. I will miss my freedoms while I live abroad. I'd say the Chinese would not be huge fans of this post, for instance. And I doubt I could slander government officials like I did to poor Mrs. Palin. So I plan to get out all my rants while I'm here. I'll say whatever I want, as much as I want, because I can. And that's what we Americans are all about.