The ..... Spirit.

Let me begin with an excerpt from my family history.
Once upon a time, some people came over on the Mayflower. Including my ancestor.
Then some more people came from Austria and Switzerland, through Ellis Island.
Then some Irish folk decided to move over to Southwest Virginia.
The End.
I have no awesome Latin aunt, no tomato sauce recipe from Sicily, no strange foods to eat during the holidays. Needless to say, I have been deprived by my own Lily-Whiteness.
But I do love my holidays. You see, I love being loud, celebrating things, and having people purchase gifts in an attempt to honor my awesomeness.
So, this lovely season, I decided to celebrate me some Chanukah. It's about time. Unfortunately for me,
AND THROUGH NO FAULT OF MY OWN
I am also no one's bubula.
So I took it upon myself, despite my 100% Protestant roots, to have a Chanukah cookie or two, light a candle, and sing a couple of songs. Why am I telling you this? Well, first and foremost, this is my blog, and I do what I want. And secondly, my casual and secular observance of this amazing holiday was met with some controversy. I decided to have a little celebration in the cafeteria of my 750 student, predominantly Mormon college. Yes, I am that ridiculous. As each person that mattered remotely to me walked in, I'd wish him/her a Happy Chanukah, hand him/her a cookie, and send these fine people on their way.
Some typical reactions went thusly.
Me: Happy Chanukah, have a Chanukah cookie!
Tolerant Person: Thanks, Derek! Is your family Jewish?
Me: Not remotely, I have just always wanted to celebrate Chanukah.
Tolerant Person: Even better! That's really awesome!
Me: Thanks! Mazel tov! (whatever that means)
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Me: Happy Chanukah!
Close Friend: Haha, Derek! You are so retarded!
Me: Wow thanks! Here's a cookie, douche.
Close Friend: Ok thanks!
(And then they'd usually continue to giggle and pat my head as they walked away.)
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Me: Happy Chanukah!
Person in Hallway: ....Thanks....? You're not Jewish...
Me: Nope. Here, have a Chanukah cookie. They're like cookie flavored crackers.
Person in Hallway: No. I'm not Jewish. That's weird. Thanks anyway.
Me: (rapidly inhales rejected cookie)

Some people really got into the spirit with me.  They sat at that table, and we feasted on what I can only assume are the traditional goodies of Chanukah that require no culinary preparation. Cookies, some Kosher grape juice. And a candle. It was very low key. My friends Ashley and Roxy were at that table with me, listening to excerpts from Fiddler on the Roof, and really getting pumped for the season. A jolly mazel tov to them both. My friend Bradon and I lit a candle and watched Adam Sandler's Chanukah Song on his laptop. Mazel tov to him for breaking the "No Open Flames in the Dorm" rule to help me celebrate. Of course, Courtney Golden supported me all the way. She always does. The highest mazel tov of all goes to her.
So no, I am not Jewish. I do respect the Jewish faith, and they have some fascinating traditions. Including Chanukah. And I realize that while Chanukah has no spiritual significance to me, all holidays are a time for celebration. I have great friends who celebrate with me, and I realize most people just want to have a good time. As a 3 time participant of Canada Day, and a casual observer of such holidays as Australia Day, Boxing Day, Bastille Day, and others, I consider myself a celebratory person. Because honestly, there are only two ways to look at life. You can always find things to celebrate, or you can endure the days of your self-inflicted boredom. So please, stop raining on my menorah.